How to Play Nice with Other Bands: 10 Tips

If you play music in public with any regularity, especially on a local or regional level, you will quickly become part of a community. As you play more shows, or attend other artists' shows, you'll meet other musicians, sound guys, groupies, club owners, managers, etc., and you'll be surprised to discover that they also know so-and-so, and what's-his-name.

A lot of the musical successes you experience will be as a result of help you get from these people. Maybe a band you met 6 months ago has to bail on a gig and asks you to fill in for them, and you end up selling tons of merch. On top of that, the club owner books you for a future date because she likes your sound. Or maybe a solo artist heard your band at an open mic, and asks you to play drums on his upcoming album.

Because music scenes are so small and so social, it's a good idea to try not to piss off other people in the community. I know this only because I have pissed off or have been pissed off by many people in my musical experience. Learn from my mistakes...

1) DON'T GO OVER YOUR SET TIME

For me at least, this is harder than it should be. Time your set during a rehearsal. Make sure you have easy access to some sort of timepiece when you're on stage. Write approximate song lengths on your setlist so that you can quickly shuffle things around if needed.

My band once played a show where we accidentally went over time because a mic crapped out mid-set and the soundguy had to scurry around to find a replacement. When we got off stage, the show-runner was clearly pissed, and told my bandmate that he "didn't think we were THAT kind of band." We didn't get asked to play with those guys again.

Artists take their sets seriously - they spend a lot of time preparing for them, and expend a lot of energy trying to get people to show up. Treat that time like it's money, and don't steal from other bands.

2) DON'T LEAVE BEFORE (OR DURING) THE OTHER BAND'S SET

You just got done playing your set, and there's 2 other bands playing after you. If you're tempted to just load up your gear and go, try and remember that those bands probably had to sit through your set, and it's nice to return the favor by being part of their audience, especially if the show has low attendance.

Even if you aren't into the other band's music, try your best to look like you're enjoying yourself. It'll make the other band feel better, and make the set go that much more smoothly. No artist wants to look out from the stage and see crowd members, let alone musicians, crossing their arms and scowling.

If you end up playing with that band again, the performance order might be switched and it could be them who's packing up their gear and heading for the exit while you're playing. However, if you stay for them this time, they might stay for you next time.

Even worse than leaving before someone's set is leaving DURING their set.

Even worse than leaving before someone else's set is leaving DURING their set. Watching people leave while you're playing music is a big confidence killer. You don't like it when it happens to you, so try your best to avoid doing it to someone else. If you HAVE to leave early, make sure you apologize to the band before they start, and make it up to them by coming out to another show in the future.

3) DON'T BE A DISTRACTION DURING SOMEONE ELSE'S SET

My band played a festival a little while ago. The stage area was under a small tent, which we shared with the sound guy. We were in the middle of our first set when the next band (let's say they're called the "Delaney Family" - not their real name) arrived. They pulled up a couple of folding chairs next to the sound guy, and started a conversation with him. They continued to converse throughout the remainder of both sets. I could hear a good deal of their chat. Some of their discussion could probably be heard in the mic.

I'm sure the other band didn't mean to be distracting, and it certainly isn't the worst thing they could have done, but my clinically-diagnosed case of Adult ADHD means that I was processing their conversation while trying to remember lyrics, chords, and stops, etc. Aside from that, the fact that they were talking to the sound guy means that he wasn't paying attention to... the sound. All in all, it's kind of rude, and it's easily avoidable. Be considerate, and take the conversation somewhere away from the stage.

4) GIVE THE OTHER GUYS TIME TO BREAK DOWN/SET UP

Back to that festival I mentioned. The "Delaney Family" was very excited to play their set after we were finished. I know this because I had barely gotten the words "thank you everyone" into the mic before the "Family" members were on the stage adjusting mics, pulling guitars out of their cases, and flipping through sheet music. My band had to work around them to get our gear packed up.

Wait for the other guys to clear their gear before you hit the stage, and clear your gear as quickly as possible.

There was plenty of time in between sets to allow us to pack up, and to allow the Delaneys to get ready to start. There was no reason to clutter up the stage area and get in each other's way. Unless you get specific instructions from the show-runner to set up while someone else is tearing down, wait until the other guys are fully clear of the stage and all of their gear is packed up.

On the other side of things, make sure you get off the stage as quickly as possible to give the next band the most time to set up and troubleshoot any issues. Don't go running into the crowd to hit on that chick at the bar until everyone in your band has cleared their gear off of the stage.

5) OFFER TO HELP THEM LOAD IN/OUT

This should be common sense as far as human decency goes. If you see someone carrying a lot of gear, or if it's heavy gear, help them. Just don't drop any of their stuff. If you're a musician, you know how back-breaking some gear can be, so help a brother/sister out when you can. At the very least, open doors for them as they carry their stuff. But if you do drop something, run.

6) MENTION THE OTHER BAND TO THE AUDIENCE AND DON'T F%@& UP THEIR NAME

This seems to be common knowledge, but just in case it's not... At some point during your set, chat up the other band(s). You just HAVE to make sure to get their name right. Even if you shout to the band from the mic to get their name right (I've done this many times), you're basically just doing the other band the favor of repeating their name in a positive light to the audience, subconsciously reinforcing the idea that, "hey those guys are cool, and everyone likes them, and you should buy their stuff."

You're also endearing yourself to the other band, which could work in your favor in the future. What musician doesn't like hearing someone say how good they were? You're ALSO creating a shared experience with the audience - "hey, remember when we all heard those guys play? That was awesome right?" It's a small way to build a connection with the crowd.

7) DON'T TALK SMACK ABOUT OTHERS

Talking negatively about someone else makes YOU look like a jerk, especially if you're talking about them when they're not in your presence. Music communities tend to be somewhat small, so word travels fast, and if you become known as a behind-the-back-talker-guy, you will damage relationships, which could end up costing you, even if you aren't aware of it.

As an example, even if you couldn't stand the other band's music, trust me, it's best to be diplomatic and pretend that you did. Believe it or not, the world isn't waiting on your opinion... you can keep it to yourself. You want to be viewed as a Pro by the other people in the music community, and Pro's don't talk smack.

8) DON'T MESS WITH THEIR GEAR

The only time you should ever use someone else's gear is if you have express (preferably written) permission in advance of the show. You need to give the gear lender time to decide if he actually wants to lend without the pressure of you standing in front of him, eagerly awaiting his answer.

On a couple of occasions, show-runners have told me that they already talked to the other band, and the band said it was okay to use their stuff. That doesn't count as permission. Make DIRECT contact with the gear owner and get express permission. You never know what details could have been lost, misunderstood, or forgotten in the communication between the show-runner and the other band. If you show up to the gig and the band is either not cool with you sharing their stuff, or they have to leave before your set, then what are you going to do?

If you're sharing gear, you're placing a lot of trust in a stranger.

If you're sharing gear, you're placing a lot of trust in people you may not know very well. What if they forget the gear? What if they get sick and have to bail out of the show just before you go on?

If you do end up sharing gear with another band, try not to change any of their settings. However, if you absolutely HAVE TO mess with their settings (after getting the owner's permission), take a picture of the setup before you touch anything so that you can get it back to where it was after you're done with it.

9) TRADE ALBUMS

Pressed albums can serve as one form of business card. Exchange them with the other bands, or if you don't have your own, seriously consider buying the other guy's. It will earn you some good will. Take the album home, listen to it, and try to find something you like about it, even if you aren't really into it. Reach out to the other band and let them know what you liked. It's an easy excuse to stay in contact.

10) STAY IN CONTACT

Find out where the band is active online, whether it's Facebook, Twitter, their website, or whatever site the kids use these days. Reach out as soon as you're able, and keep in touch. Comment on their songs. Check out their show schedule, and go to their shows. Stay on their radar, and they may ask you to do a show with them in the future. Your presence on their social media could also earn you some new fans.

DON'T BE A JERK

The takeaway from all of this is: being a good musician isn't just about playing an instrument well. It's also about being easy to work with. People who are easy to work with get more work. Jerks get ignored. Even if there are no clear benefits to you, being a friendly, supportive musician to other musicians makes a better music community, and I think we all want that.

Recording Your Shows Is a Bad Idea (Part II)

Let's continue our discussion about whether you should record your shows. You can catch up on the first part of the discussion here.

THE ONE GOOD PART

There IS an upside to recording live performances... it gives you a loose (and if you're recording with a phone, I do mean loose) idea of what everyone in the band is playing, and allows you to make decisions about structure, parts, arrangements, and mixing.

If that's what you're going for, it might be better to capture a rehearsal, where you're not competing with crowd noise, and you're not obsessing over cringe moments like when you said something really embarrassing from the stage or when the vocalist went flat on the chorus of your best song. Your negative feelings about those moments could color your opinion of the rest of the recording. However, if you hear those moments in a rehearsal recording, you'll be much better off because you can just say, "thank god no one heard that."

That brings me to what I view as the most important consideration about recording live performances: we humans are subjective, emotional beings, and we have poor memory-recall abilities. In some cases, that's a good thing.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MUSICAL FAILURE

Let's say you have a terrible show. Everybody's got 'em, so don't feel too lousy about it (unless you've been having terrible shows for 11 years... then you may want to reevaluate some things). Maybe your drummer drank too much and dropped the beat a couple times. The singer couldn't hear herself in the monitor, so her pitch was all over the place. The sound guy was watching a ball game on his phone instead of paying attention to the mix. (All of these things will happen to you if they haven't already. God knows they've happened to me too many times.)

Now, if you didn't record that trainwreck of a show, your imperfect memory will gradually gloss over all the bad stuff, and you'll eventually come to a place where it doesn't bother you that basically shamed yourself in front of a bunch of friends, fans, or coworkers. You'll probably even laugh about it, if you remember it at all. Without that crippling shame of failure, you'll just go about your musical career, happy as you please.

"If you record a bad show, you have a permanent reminder of just how sh%&ty you really were...

Not the best thing to have if you want to convince yourself to get on stage again."

HOWEVER, if you did record the show, you now have a great and semi-permanent reminder of just how shitty you really were, and if you're anything like a lot of us self-conscious musicians, you'll put that thing on repeat and beat yourself up for years to come. Maybe not the best thing to do if you ever want to work up the courage to get back up on stage again.

This is especially true if you're just starting out, because there's going to be some crappy shows... maybe even a lot of them... and it takes a certain amount of self-deception to keep plugging away and getting better. Having a hard copy of your failure is going to make that all the more difficult.

MR. FREEZE

Another thing a lot of people don't think about is the observer principle as it relates to your recording. There's some sort of crazy brain magic that causes many people to just freeze or panic when they see a camera. If you know that your performance could be posted on YouTube for millions of people to watch you miserably and utterly fail, you might start to notice your voice tightening up, or your guitar player sweating abnormally, or that suddenly the band is plowing through the stops in every song, or playing in double time.

DON'T WORRY, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU SUCK

Some people might argue that if you don't want to record your show, it's because you're not "pro" enough, and if you were legitimately talented, you'd be okay with any show you play representing you as a performer.

Bullshit. If you pay attention to your favorite band's live album, you will most likely hear them fading in the beginnings or fading out the endings on certain tracks. In some cases, this is because they are cutting out breaks or banter, or sound problems, but in a lot of cases, it's because they're patching together 2 or 3 performances, or even an entire tour into one good show. Nobody's perfect all the time.

IT'S YOUR FUNERAL

Recording shows is your decision, but hopefully I've given you some things to think about. And if you ARE going to do it, do it right, something we'll talk about in a separate post.

(If you like what you've read, please share or quote freely. I appreciate your support.)

Recording Your Shows is a Bad Idea (Part I)

I'M A JERK

I am an absolute tyrant about the fact that I do not want anyone recording my band's live shows. Friends and fans will tell you that I have asked them to take cameras off of their tripods, or delete recordings from their smartphones and social media pages.

Am I jerk? Am I killing my chance for free promotion? Am I alienating friends and fans? Probably. But I've got my reasons. Many musicians rush straight into recording their performances only minutes after they've learned their first chord. It's a natural inclination to want to hear how you sound. However, I believe there are some compelling reasons to leave the camera at home.

RECORDING QUALITY

There's this idea that a recording, regardless of the equipment, the technique used, or the skill of the person doing the recording, is an objective version of what you actually sound like. That's a nice idea, unfortunately, it is total bullshit. Let me tell you why:

MUSIC IS MORE THAN SOUND

Let's compare sound to color, since we can't see sound. When you're listening to music in a live setting, you are absorbing a wide prism of "colors," whether you're listening to a solo instrument, or a full band. The primary color of an upright bass is beautiful on its own, but mixed with another primary - maybe a tight kick drum - you now "see" an equally pleasing secondary color. (This all assumes that the band and sound guy know what they're doing, but let's just put that aside for now.)

"A smartphone can't capture the warm fuzzies of a great performance."

The colors these instruments produce are reflected off of the walls, the ceiling, the floor, absorbed by the bodies of the audience, altered by the shape of the stage, and filtered through your highly subjective emotional and mental state. Your feelings about the music and the experience are affected by the energy of the crowd, and the charisma of the band.

A smartphone will funnel that wealth of information through a mic the size of a pin, and produce a tinny, compressed, clipped xerox copy. It cannot capture the warm fuzzies of a great performance. It would be like watching your favorite movie, but you're only able to see one color... Godfather in Blue. Who wants that?

(DON'T) BRING THE NOISE

The other thing to take into account is that if you're recording in a crowd, the people around you are much closer to the mic, so their conversations and screams, the sounds of them moshing, or the sounds of them talking smack on the band, are going to compete with the sounds coming from the stage.

You'll also be introducing the handling noise from the recordist fumbling around with the device, something that drives me absolutely nuts. If you set the recording device on a table or chair, you could also be introducing a whole new form of unpleasantness as the sound bounces off of the surface and into the mic.

PUT YOUR MUSIC IN THE RIGHT HANDS

If you really do want to record your show, there's a gigantic difference between trusting an experienced sound tech who's familiar with your type of music, and is using a 32-channel digital rig with high end mics and preamps, as opposed to using a camcorder held by your best friend. And, if you've got a soundguy who REALLY knows what they're doing, they'll probably have the ability to throw the tracks they capture into a sound editor (like ProTools or Reaper) and work some magic on what they recorded. Generally speaking, that's the kind of thing you're used to hearing on live albums. It's a lot of work, and a lot of expensive gear. Can your little camera compete with that?

There's some additional thoughts to consider, but due to time constraints, we'll have to save that for next week.

(If you like what you've read, please share or quote freely. I appreciate your support.)